questions about zombies
So now that i'm a qualified Zombie Extra and having spent six hours on set in my Zombie costume, I've come up with some questions I'd like answered about zombies but could still die rather peacefully if the answers don't ever come to me. They are but are not limited to the following:
1. Are there vegetarian zombies?
2. If someone was a vegetarian would they become a zombie vegetarian?
3. If someone was on a diet before becoming a zombie, would they only go after really thin people or small children?
4. Do zombies lust?
5. Do zombies prefer home washrooms as opposed to ones in stores, restaurants or bars?
6. Do zombies even go to the bathroom? They must though because if they didn't they would just keep eating until they explode and i've never seen or heard of a zombie exploding after eating so much brains and meat. Also, do zombies use toilet paper or even flush?
7. Do the legs of zombies get tired after their long pilgrimages for food?
8. Are maggots to zombies like dogs and cats are to humans?
9. If a zombie could eat Jack Black, Robin Williams or Billy Crystal which would he choose and why? IN THIS CASE HE CAN CHOOSE ONLY ONE!
10. Do zombies laugh or at least even chuckle if another zombie gets hit in the groin?
11. Would zombies prefer Conon, Letterman or Leno?
12. If zombies lost an eye would they miss it?
13. If zombies evolved would they use televison and radio to mobilize?
14. Would zombies prefer bare foot, shoes or sandals?
15. Would zombies watch more CSI than I have?
16. Would zombies be stupid and just eat every last human or be wise and start to domesticate us?
17. Do zombies have a hierarchy?
18. Do zombies fart? Burp? Spit? Scratch themselves?
19. Would zombies rather not be sticky?
20. If zombies walk all slow and dead like, look all dead like and moan all dead like, would their strength be all dead like? if so, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE AFRAID OF THEM, GRAB A BAT, CROWBAR, GUN, BAZOOKA, TANK, STEALTH AIRCRAFT, GOLF CLUB, SWORD, OR ANYTHING THAT COULDN'T RUN OUT OF GAS BEFORE YOU WOULD SO YOU CAN JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OR AT LEAST TO A VEHICLE TO GET AWAY FROM THEM!
21. Can zombies swim, tread water? Would living on a zombie free island be safer or would they just sail the high seas to come get you?
22. Would a zombie jump on a bed?
23. Would a father zombie still watch out for a zombie child?
24. Would a zombie child grow to be a super zombie adult?
25. Would a zombie beat me in a game of poker if he/she/it was forced to play?
Well that's about it for questions for now. I was only on set last night and I have tonight off so i'm going to catch up on some sleep before the missus calls. She's a swell lady.
1. Are there vegetarian zombies?
2. If someone was a vegetarian would they become a zombie vegetarian?
3. If someone was on a diet before becoming a zombie, would they only go after really thin people or small children?
4. Do zombies lust?
5. Do zombies prefer home washrooms as opposed to ones in stores, restaurants or bars?
6. Do zombies even go to the bathroom? They must though because if they didn't they would just keep eating until they explode and i've never seen or heard of a zombie exploding after eating so much brains and meat. Also, do zombies use toilet paper or even flush?
7. Do the legs of zombies get tired after their long pilgrimages for food?
8. Are maggots to zombies like dogs and cats are to humans?
9. If a zombie could eat Jack Black, Robin Williams or Billy Crystal which would he choose and why? IN THIS CASE HE CAN CHOOSE ONLY ONE!
10. Do zombies laugh or at least even chuckle if another zombie gets hit in the groin?
11. Would zombies prefer Conon, Letterman or Leno?
12. If zombies lost an eye would they miss it?
13. If zombies evolved would they use televison and radio to mobilize?
14. Would zombies prefer bare foot, shoes or sandals?
15. Would zombies watch more CSI than I have?
16. Would zombies be stupid and just eat every last human or be wise and start to domesticate us?
17. Do zombies have a hierarchy?
18. Do zombies fart? Burp? Spit? Scratch themselves?
19. Would zombies rather not be sticky?
20. If zombies walk all slow and dead like, look all dead like and moan all dead like, would their strength be all dead like? if so, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE AFRAID OF THEM, GRAB A BAT, CROWBAR, GUN, BAZOOKA, TANK, STEALTH AIRCRAFT, GOLF CLUB, SWORD, OR ANYTHING THAT COULDN'T RUN OUT OF GAS BEFORE YOU WOULD SO YOU CAN JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OR AT LEAST TO A VEHICLE TO GET AWAY FROM THEM!
21. Can zombies swim, tread water? Would living on a zombie free island be safer or would they just sail the high seas to come get you?
22. Would a zombie jump on a bed?
23. Would a father zombie still watch out for a zombie child?
24. Would a zombie child grow to be a super zombie adult?
25. Would a zombie beat me in a game of poker if he/she/it was forced to play?
Well that's about it for questions for now. I was only on set last night and I have tonight off so i'm going to catch up on some sleep before the missus calls. She's a swell lady.
posted by . jdzer0 at
6:08 PM
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